This morning I awoke with red, puffy eyes -as though I had been crying heavily. Andrew and I had a fine evening last night as there really wasn’t any overt emotional crisis -unless you count my concern for Her.
It was about 1:40 this afternoon when I decided to shower. I was at a stopping point and I was getting hungry. Thoughts of her began to swarm, so I acquiest to grabbing a protein bar from the pantry; I couldn’t manage anything else.
God, I hoped someone had read my letter to Her and showed her the greeting cards I had made for her.
You know when people talk about loved ones appearing as they die? It never happened for me. But one thing that kept resonating the last 24 hours and that was to get the overnight package to her with the letter because I knew that timing issues would not allow Him to read the same note I attached to his email.
Thank God for UPS.
With a half-eaten protein bar, I turned on the water for the shower. As I showered, I thought of the ways people are told about death. I imagined feeling her leave the Earth and being cognizant of her departure. I imagined her ghostly stance among the crowd at the SURTEX booth with pride and enveloping warmth. I imagined receiving a call an hour later acknowledging her death. I imagined having to reveal this to Andrew as we stood among buyers in our booth. I imagined an overwhelming scent of roses in the booth.
1 An hour after my shower, Angelique called. Mrs. Yalda passed away.
2 One day when Andrew ran an errand during our stint at Surtex, he returned with a bag full of goodies. An overwhelming scent of roses filled the air as he claimed that the Chinese women forced him to take these scented soaps as a freebie for his purchase.
3 My lucid dreaming kept taking me to the lower level (main hub of Surtex) of the Javit’s Center, not upstairs where my rented space was in the sunshine. This week, I got a call to move my booth to the main hub of Surtex -we took it.