Unparenting: The sign of the times

Andrew & I found one hiliarious book this week in NYC: Baby Not On Board A Celebration of Life without Kids.

I knew when I was younger, about the age of a zygote, I definitely did not want children. I tried to fit in with the other girls at school who had already plans for the number of children they wanted as well as names -all without the help of their yet-to-be-snagged husband. All of this pre-planning just gave me the heebie jeebies.

My mantra has always been, “If I want to hear the patter of little feet, I’ll put shoes on my cats.” Actually, I have put clothes on them, just check out 3WiseCats.

Fortunately, most of my friends believe my steadfast stance but are visibly disappointed. “Oh, you must have at least one!” I’ve been sent guilt trips via overnight mail and announcements have been made on the 6 o’clock news about how selfish I am or how completely unreasonable I’m being. Some have tried to trick this ol girl by stating, “It seems that those who are completely well-adjusted don’t want kids and those that aren’t, do!”

Sorry! ‘Won’t be fooled again!

As a stepparent (~3 years) I didn’t find the role all that rewarding or tantalizing. Moreover, we’re confident that we won’t be saddled with the 24/7 fear as parents.

Meanwhile, my latest concern is how to throw an unbaby shower. If you’re wondering what color balloons to attach to the mailbox, it’s not the color of the balloons that matter, but that they should be deflated to symbolize an empty womb.

Recently, my MIL has worn this shirt w/pride, “Let me get this straight, my grandchild is a cat.” We topped that by getting a collage frame from Target that had lasered text reading, “Grandchildren make us proud.”

Oh, and you know we filled it with our pussycats.

3 thoughts on “Unparenting: The sign of the times

  1. Jeanne Rhea says:

    Hey, I remember saying that same kind of thing to you (Sorry;)—Those who don’t want kids are the ones who would make the best parents and it seems that those who keep having kids are the ones who shouldn’t.

    But I completely agree, if one does not want to have a child, he/she should not have a child. There are enough people in the world having kids.

    Thanks for the book link. I’m getting it for Alan. Going to have it come here first though so I can read it.

  2. Jeanne Rhea says:

    Oops, hit the button before I was finished.

    You should always consider that as a compliment when someone says to you that a person like you should have kids and many others should not. They are saying that you would make a good parent. Of course, with that said, then it is the person’s responsibility to acknowledge that you are the one making the decision and you above all others know what you want and it is really no one else’s business. So I’ll never hassle you!

    Your kitties have near-perfect parents! And they are perfect kitties!

  3. EC (Lisa) Stewart says:

    Hahahaha! ROTFLMAO! You’re hilarious! Yes, I do realize that is a compliment and I accept it w/pride.

    While I’m not sure I agree w/being near-perfect parents, I do agree that I’ve got perfect kitties. Well… until they decide to bring cockroaches up on to the bed late at night or stick them in my suitcase. I guess the country cockroach wanted to see the city.

    *skin shivers*

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